It was only a matter of time before the Guitar Hero knockoffs started coming down in full force, and THQ has answered the bell with great ferocity. Battle of the Bands comes down hard, almost as though its sole mission is to remove any joy found in music-based rhythm games. However, that’s not giving the game enough credit. It seeks to remove any joy found in motion-based gaming as well, while promoting racial and cultural stereotypes at the same time. This game is a hat trick of awful.
"A lack of engaging gameplay elements and a woeful soundtrack are enough to rank Battle of the Bands in last place..."
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Much like Guitar Hero and its quality half-sibling Rock Band, Battle of the Bands is all about gaming to real music. In fact, the interface is so much the same you’d think, at least visually, that Harmonix developed this title. The same type of "guitar neck" scroll bar displays the "notes" you’re supposed to hit in rhythm with the music, but the similarities (and good qualities) end there.
The "notes" are hit by swinging the Wii remote in the direction displayed, either right, left or down. Occasionally there’s a zig-zag line on the board, which is sometimes narrow but sometimes wide, that you have to scribble with the remote to complete. These elements work fairly well because the remote is responsive, and the game might have been a passable, if derivative knockoff if this was the gameplay in a nutshell, but it’s not.
Battle of the Bands is all about the battle. In order to fight, attacks are mapped to the notes you’re supposed to hit. Hit a note with a grenade, and launch explosives at your opponent – hit them to receive more points. The game allows you to block by pressing the B-trigger, but it’s distracting when you’re trying to actually pay attention to the notes. I don’t know about you, but I rarely watch what my opponent is doing when playing heads-up during Guitar Hero. It’s a mechanic that works a little better when one player attacks and the other defends (which usually happens twice a song), but the fact that it’s unresponsive and laggy doesn’t help things.
"Character design: drawn up by the 1940s Warner Bros. crew or did Planet Moon simply hire racists?"
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There are five types of bands in this game: rock, hip-hop, latin, country and marching band (random, right?). The fact that none of the tracks are master tracks hurts this game in ways I wish I could, and it’s because of this that the marching band covers sound the best. Unlike the other four, the marching band versions have no singing, so they do less to ruin your memories. The other versions range from ear splitting to Wii selling, though Tag Team’s "Whoomp! (There It Is)" employs a certain charm in country style. As the bands "play" the music, the style will switch. Sometimes it plays the style of the band that’s winning, but sometimes it switches at random. Imagine Cypress Hill’s "Insane in the Brain" switching between country and latin styles erratically and your nose might start to bleed, but play this game and you’ll actually experience the full effect this game can have on the fragile human psyche. You’ll look fondly back at your time with this game from your padded, rubber room.
A lack of engaging gameplay elements and a woeful soundtrack are enough to rank Battle of the Bands in last place, but the art design would disqualify it from the running even if it played well. Come on, just look at the travesty that is Defcon X (click to see a screen-grab from the game’s website). Were these designs drawn up by the 1940s Warner Bros. crew or did Planet Moon simply hire racists?
All told, Battle of the Bands is a near complete failure. If it weren’t for the ability to listen to the songs in the game’s media player right from the outset (which believe me, are hilarious) this game would be a total waste. That feature alone, however, does not qualify this game as a purchase or really as a rental, because the rest of the game is that damn bad.
