Genre: Action
Developer: Point of View
Publisher: Universal Interactive
# of Players: 1-Player
Memory: Can’t remember
ERSB: Teens
Also On: PS2

Best Feature: You don’t have to buy it!
Worst Feature: Slashing right through a demon without hurting him.

The Akkadians were once a tribe of warriors unparalleled in the deadly art of assassination. Their skill is put to the ultimate test when a dark lord named Magus is determined to harness the powers of the Underworld. It is up to you Mathayus, to bring down Magus and all his evil. But you’re The Rock in real life, so you should have no problems right? You know, since The Rock did not utter any of his tired catchphrases in the movie, I will not use any of them in this review. Yes my friends, this review is "SmackDown laying" free. Unfortunately though, once you begin to play The Scorpion King: Rise of the Akkadian, you might just be uttering some bad catchphrases of your own. The general rule is that movies to video game translations don’t work, with an exception or two. The Scorpion King falls right into the category, falling short of keeping your attention for very long.

To Universal’s credit they have the license, it’s their movie. It’s the same deal as Lucasarts. Since Universal makes games too, there is no effort in having the game based on the movie, or having the actual movie characters in it. Well, except in the movie there was a Sorceress and an evil master called Memnon. But hey, it’s still a game based on The Scorpion King. The shame of it is, executed correctly; this game could have been ok. Except it’s plagued by a gameplay engine that makes you want to throw your controller through the television. I guess I’ll start there. But after extensive time on it, I can fairly say it’s not the controllers fault this game plays so frustrating. The fault is in the engine itself. As Mathayus you are a fierce fighter, with a lot of strength, and a few moves to go with it. You have two attack buttons, which you can use in tandem for combos (which if you pause the game, you can find out how to perform). If you press both attacks together you will pick up and body slam your enemy. You have a jumping attack, as well as a special attack which can take out multiple bad guys. Mathayus can also run, pick up objects to throw at enemies, and even block. When blocking, you can counter attack with a shoulder charge or leg sweep. You will even wield weapons like sword, scimitars and such. Now you would think that this would be the slightest bit fun. And for about 5 minutes it was. Here’s the big problem. Because the game is 3D, you can be attacked from all sides. Somehow the game doesn’t handle that very well. You do a lot of missing your enemies even when you’re facing them! And with 4-5 guys sometimes attacking you, there’s almost nothing you can do. You can’t seem to hit them, yet they can kill you pretty well. And don’t even ask me about the dogs that attack you! Two bad guys and two dogs and you may as well turn the game off right there because you’re going to die. Even if you block, it doesn’t seem to help.

The other big problem I have with The Scorpion King is in the game’s saving design. There are several "missions" for you to play through in the game, and each level you go through is huge! Even the very first level you play is almost like a full city, complete with small puzzles and hidden gems to find. And because the levels are so large that they need save checkpoints along the way. And there are, but they are so few and far between that you can die literally 4-5 "rooms" out from a save point, and have to work your way back. This can get frustrating if you have to fight another 15-20 enemies along the way to get there. Combine that with the fighting system problems I mentioned above, and it won’t take long for you to turn off the game in anger and head back to the store with your receipt.

And what makes it worse is that I was actually kind of impressed with the presentation of the game. The graphics in The Scorpion King aren’t necessarily mind blowing, but it is smooth and detailed. No slowdown with multiple people on the screen, or any kind of "glitches". Universal is getting very good at graphic touches with special effects like lighting, fire, and the like. Animations on the characters are also not bad at all. Mathayus’s character really does look and move like The Rock, which is impressive. His movements are solid and smooth, as are his enemies. Swinging a sword-like object will leave a "trace". And the soundtrack from the movie is in there too. Even The Rock lent some voiceovers to his game character. Only in the cutscenes, but The Rock is still in there.

Man, this one could have been something. It really could have been. But a very clunky fighting system just completely ruins the game. But have no fear; Universal is definitely getting the hang of things. These are things that can easily be fixed in their next game. This one unfortunately you should RUN LIKE HELL away from this one.

~ditto~