Genre: Action
Developer: Kemco
Publisher: Kemco
# of Players: 1 player
Memory: 3 blocks
ERSB: Teen
Released On: March 26th, 2003
Also On: Playstation 2, Xbox
Features: The ability to make you stop playing after 30 seconds of actually controlling Batman
Introduction:
Since the Dark Knight’s first appearance in the 1950’s, Bob Cane’s Batman has easily become one of the most recognized comic book characters in the world. And just like all popular franchises of any nature, from movies to music, the Batman franchise has had its fair share of videogames.
Not too long after the GameCube’s launch, Ubi Soft delivered one of the better Batman games in recent memory with Batman Vengeance. With the game being based off the long gone animated Batman cartoon, it featured some entertaining gameplay, easily making it the best Batman video game, since…since ever! At E3 of the same year, Kemco had announced that they were also in development of a new Batman videogame, that game was Batman: Dark Tomorrow.
This time, the next Batman game for the GameCube would be based off the actual comic book series, with the guys at DC responsible for the storyline. At the time, the game was announced as a Nintendo GameCube exclusive, but history has proved, that as time passes things change, and Batman: Dark Tomorrow eventually became a multiplatform title. But you’ll soon learn that Kemco should have left the game on one console, because just like a disease you’ll want to isolate it, and keep this game away from you at all costs.
Presentation:
When Kemco first revealed Batman: Dark Tomorrow for the GameCube in May of 2001, the developer showed a video reel of excellently choreographed cinemas; cinemas which made the game look badass. These cinemas managed to capture the dark feel of the comic books perfectly, unfortunately that’s the only thing this game does right. Upon starting a new game, the introduction sequence really pulls some tricks on you. A movie-like five minute FMV intro tricks you into thinking that Dark Tomorrow is actually a good game, but like I said, it’s all trickery, and underneath all the cinematics lies a game, a game that even the most die-hard Batman fan should avoid like the plague.
Gameplay:
Before starting this review, I was thinking to myself “I can’t believe I took a break from The Wind Waker to play this horrid piece of shit!”, and I’m extremely sorry I did so, because Batman: Dark Tomorrow is easily the worst game I have ever played. It pains me to even describe the torture I went through when playing this game. Never have I played a game that just disappointed in every gameplay aspect.
The game easily features the worst camera problems I’ve experienced on any GameCube game to date. Why? Because for some odd fucking reason, when developing the game, Kemco thought that having an over top 3rd person perspective would work best for a game like this…Well, guess what ass clowns? When you’re using the Batgrapple, Batcable, or Batasslube to swing from roof-top to roof-top it’s pretty damn hard to jump from one building to another, especially when you can barely see the damn thing! No, it doesn’t stop there either. Have you ever played a game with such piss poor controls that you thought you could never find worse? Well, I’m willing to make a bet that Batman: Dark Tomorrow will soon take that prestigious title. On top of that, the fighting mechanics of the game are horrendous. The boss fights are just plain boring, the puzzles can solved by a fucking toddler, and just the whole package of the game is so terrible that it doesn’t warrant a decent review from yours truly. Sure, the game might feature some nice cinematics to progress the game’s cliché story, but the agony of the rinse and repeat-like gameplay, leaves you wanting to pull your fly down, take out you willy and piss all over this waste of fine plastic.
Visuals:
It boggles the mind… How can a game, which started off as a GameCube exclusive title, not utilize the graphical capabilities of a console? Just like the rest of the game, the graphics in Batman: Dark Tomorrow suck, making the game the most complete package of suck I’ve seen since… Ah, fudge monkeys! I can’t think of anything!
The character models in the game are clunky, funky, and chunky. The textures are as bland as sand, and the framerate can barely keep a steady 30 frames per second. If I didn’t know better, I could have easily mistaken this game for a high-end Nintendo 64 title, but most Nintendo 64 titles kept a solid frame rate. Batman: Dark Tomorrow makes cow excrement look like a work of art.
Audio:
Well, I lied about before. The presentation aspect of Batman: Dark Tomorrow isn’t the only thing Kemco accomplished somewhat decently.
The audio portion of the game isn’t half bad. For the most part the orchestrated pieces remind me of some of the themes from the first two Michael Keaton Batman movies, movies which featured some pretty moody, yet excellent soundtracks (especially with that awesome Prince song in the first). The voice acting found in the game, isn’t too bad either. Sure it sounds robotic at times, with comments like “Hey you”, and “Get off the grass or I’ll blow your fucking head off!”, but compared to the other aspects of the game, it’s worth mentioning. The sound effects remind me of some cheesy 60’s Asian kung fu flick… You know, those movies where the sound effects are created by smashing vegetables in order to simulate a punch or a kick (I saw that in the making of Street Fighter: The Movie).
Is the sound portion of the game decent? Yes, it is. But does the game still suck? No doubt about it!
Final Thoughts:
Why won’t anyone please think of the children?!
When Batman: Dark Tomorrow was first revealed, I was interested with what Kemco had to possibly offer. Two years later, I finally got the end result in my hands, and boy don’t I feel stupid for spending my money on this crap. Never have I *ever* played a game that turned me away in less that a minute of controlling the Dark Knight. It’s just that appalling.
The crappiness of the game is apparent from the get go, and I would suggest spending your hard earned money on any game but this one, because I wouldn’t even suggest this game to my most hated enemy, or even the most hardcore of Batman fans. If you do purchase this game, then I only have one alternative for you other than suicide. Check yourself into a mental institution and hopefully all those “happy” drugs will beat some sense into your peanut sized brain.
*GamersMark.com reviewed this game with a copy of the title purchased from retail
